Home office. For almost a year now. And I can’t bear my own four walls anymore. I can’t stand any longer working all day on my laptop. I can’t stand my own face in Zoom meetings anymore. And that’s not only (but also) because I haven’t been to the hairdresser’s for far too long.
How much do I miss real human relations! All those little, barely noticeable, indescribable things that happen when people meet. The creativity that comes from sitting around a table struggling to find a solution to a problem.
My ability to communicate is fading away
I feel like my ability to communicate is slowly fading away. For as long as I can remember I’ve been an observer. Observing people, their faces, their facial expressions has always fascinated me. I’m the type of person who intuitively takes off her sunglasses when having conversations with others outside. Because I want to give others the opportunity to read my face, my eyes.
I catch myself over and over again inadvertently pulling down my mask when talking to people in “real life”. Because for me, speaking is not just about choice of words and intonation, but also has a lot to do with facial expressions. I can’t hear facial expressions. I have to see facial expressions!
At least I can see faces
So back to the laptop. The next Zoom meeting is waiting. I remember reading that women are at a disadvantage in online meetings. That’s because certain frequencies of the female voice are filtered out due to lack of bandwidth. Therefore, tiny but important nuances of the female voice are not perceptible in their entirety. At least I can see faces. Some worried, stressed, annoyed. Luckily some of the faces are smiling or laughing. That feels good!